How to Be Brave and Step Apart from What Your Parents Want
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There comes a moment in many people's lives when they realize that the path they are on was never truly their own. For some, that realization happens in their twenties. For others, it may not come until much later—perhaps in their thirties or even forties. And for one woman approaching 40, that moment was filled with mixed emotions: courage, guilt, love, and uncertainty.
She had no stable career, no steady income, and was unemployed in the traditional sense. But she wasn’t idle—she was building something of her own: a digital marketing business, a self-sustained online brand. While her heart believed in her vision, the voices around her, especially her mother’s, often cast doubt. "You're too old. You have nothing stable," her mother said one day. Words that echoed and lingered, not out of malice, but fear.
At one point, I worked as a contractor—serving as a medical interpreter and as a math AI trainer. These roles weren’t seen as "real work" in my family’s eyes because they weren’t salaried or traditional. But I’m deeply proud of both. My role as a math AI trainer felt like a natural continuation of my 19 years in tutoring, now applied to a new frontier of technology. As a medical interpreter, I used my knowledge of science and language to help members of my community communicate vital medical information in our native language. To me, these experiences are rich, purposeful, and meaningful—even if they don’t fit neatly into someone else’s definition of stability.
Why Do Parents Plan for You?
It’s important to start by understanding why parents try to plan their children’s lives. Most parents want to protect their children. They believe that if they can map out a clear, secure future—be it through a traditional job, a respectable career, or a predictable lifestyle—their children will avoid suffering and uncertainty. It's a form of love, wrapped in structure and fueled by fear.
Our parents grew up in different times. Their definition of success may be rooted in stability, not creativity. They may not understand freelancing, digital entrepreneurship, or the gig economy. To them, success is a pension, a job title, a house paid off in 30 years. It’s not their fault—they’re trying to give you what they believe is best
Why Don't (or Can’t) You Plan for Yourself?
Many of us are conditioned to follow a plan laid out for us. From school to college to a job, the roadmap is rarely questioned. So, when you suddenly decide to deviate—to start a business, take a gap year, or try something unconventional—it can feel like you’re venturing into a void. Planning for yourself requires courage, self-trust, and often, unlearning years of external expectations.
You may also fear failure. What if your plan doesn’t work? What if people say, “I told you so”? That fear can paralyze you into inaction. But fear is not a good enough reason to live a life that isn’t yours.
Understanding Your Parents’ Background
Before getting angry or defensive, take a moment to understand where your parents are coming from. Were they raised during times of war, poverty, or political instability? Did they work tirelessly to give you opportunities they never had? Their fear isn’t about you; it’s about losing the version of you they hoped to protect.
When your mother says, “You have nothing stable,” she’s not trying to insult you—she’s scared. Scared that you’ll suffer, fail, or live with regret. But here’s the truth: she loves you. Her fear is a misplaced form of that love. You can empathize with her fear and still choose a different path.
Hear People’s Opinions—But Consider the Source
It’s okay to hear what others say, but always ask: What life experience is shaping their opinion? Are they speaking from personal limitation? From love? From fear? Or from a genuine place of wisdom?
Take advice from people who are living the life you aspire to—not just those who play it safe.
What If Your Plan Doesn’t Go According to Plan?
Every plan has risk. Even traditional careers are no longer stable. Layoffs, automation, and economic shifts have shown us that nothing is guaranteed.
That’s why it’s smart to have a second or third plan—not as a backup out of fear, but as a form of resilience. If your digital business takes longer than expected to succeed, can you freelance in the meantime? Can you teach, consult, or offer services that align with your vision?
Plans evolve. So must you.
Checklist: What to Consider When Making a Big Life Decision
Are you doing this for yourself or to please others?
Have you thought about the long-term impact emotionally, financially, and mentally?
Do you have a support system or community that understands your vision?
Have you considered a fallback option that still aligns with your goals?
Are you emotionally prepared for criticism, setbacks, and slow growth?
Answering these questions helps you act with intention rather than impulse.
Do You Need to Tell People What You're Doing?
Not always. Especially not those who consistently discourage or misunderstand you. Protect your dream like a seed—you don’t plant it and leave it out in the cold. You nurture it in safe conditions until it’s strong enough to withstand the elements.
Ask yourself: Who did I tell? and why? If the person’s feedback doesn’t come with empathy, encouragement, or experience—filter it out.
Why Persistence and Encouragement Are Everything
Building your life on your terms takes time. No matter how slow it feels, keep showing up. As James Clear wrote in Atomic Habits, "You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems." Set up systems of belief, discipline, and support.
Over the past 19 years, I’ve mentored and tutored hundreds of students—each with their own dreams, family pressures, and doubts. One thing I’ve learned over and over: growth doesn’t always follow a straight line.
Whether someone is 16 or 46, the same truth applies—encouragement and persistence matter far more than ticking society’s timeline boxes. Watching people bloom at their own pace has made me believe even more in what I’m doing today.
Encouragement, whether from within or from a small circle, is the fuel that keeps your flame alive. Find communities online or offline that mirror your values. Share wins, no matter how small. And remember—flowers bloom in different seasons.
Your Time Will Come
You’re not too old. You’re not too late. You’re simply blooming in your own season. As long as you remain committed and open, success—however you define it—will come. Your parents may not understand now, but when they see you happy, fulfilled, and thriving, the truth will be undeniable.
So, walk your path. Gently, bravely. You owe it to yourself to become the person only you can be.
🔔 If This Spoke to You...
You’re not alone on this path. I’m building this digital journey step-by-step too—through doubts, detours, and determination.
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Let’s grow through it—together.
I’m still on this journey too—mentoring others, building something meaningful from scratch, and learning as I go. You’re not alone.
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